IN REPENTANCE - IN DREAMS - IN SUPPLICATIONS

hidden from - protected from - gotten away from

Because I always feel like running
Not away, because there is no such place
Because, if there was I would have found it by now
Because it's easier to run,
Easier than staying and finding out you're the only one who didn't run
Because running will be the way your life and mine will be described
As in "the long run"
Or as in having given someone a "run for his money"
Or as in "running out of time"
Because running makes me look like everyone else,
Though I hope there will ever be cause for that
Because I will be running in the other direction,
Not running for cover
Because if I knew where cover was,
I would stay there and never have to run for it
Not running for my life,
Because I have to be running for something of more value
To be running and not in fear
Because the thing I fear cannot be escaped, eluded, avoided,
Hidden from, protected from, gotten away from,
Not without showing the fear as I see it now
Because closer, clearer, no sir, nearer
Because of you and because of that nice
That you quietly, quickly be causing
And because you're going to see me run soon
And because you're going to know why I'm running then
You'll know then
Because I'm not going to tell you now.

DOUBTS AND FEARS

I knew already that I was not safe.
Not even here, in this big city, far from everything and everybody.
Far from all the mistakes I made.
But not far enough... apparently.
It looks like this is not the real life. It looks something else. Not even a dream.
Or is all the way around?
I think I'm starting to be confused...
Or are the people around confused? With their double lives, with their double faces...
...with their double thoughts...

As I said, thinking is a miracle, but believing is THE miracle.
It looks so easy, but it's so hard to feel.

Maybe I should really go to hell, as the message I recieved last night said.

Thanks God tomorrow I go back in Europe... even if I don't think is the right thing to do.

My life here in New York city is becoming everyday more dangerous.
It's already few days that I don't go out from my little flat.
I do not remember how many days exactly... I lost the counts.
I just look out my windows, doing nothing, smoking too many cigarettes.
Nobody knows what's going on. People believe in what I write on facebook.
It's so fucking easy in our days.
People believe. People don't trust.
Or vice versa?
I don't know anymore.
I don't know anymore.
New York shines in its bright colors and doesn't give a fuck about me.
But here I am.
Can you see me?
Here I am.

WAS WIR DENKEN, HAT SEINE FOLGEN.

The day in which something deep inside me broke.

.
Falling back
.

To avoid
.

crashing in the dark
.

HAVE YOU EVER?

Have you ever thought that I'm not this one?

Not my face, not my life, not my pictures, not my body, not my thoughts...

Have you ever thought that nothing I write here is for real?

Just a story, based on nothing, pure imagination, a mere style exercise...

Have you ever thought that is just an invention, an experiment?

And that you are my guinea pigs...

Have you ever thought?

...thinking is a miracle...

...believing is THE miracle...

TO STOP TO DREAM ABOUT LOVE

To stop to dream about love it doesn't mean that I will stop to love.
This is out of my possibilities and decisions, something out of my control.
To stop to dream about love it means something else.
Living the reality.
Observing what I have around.
Listening carefully to the people, trying hard to understand what they are saying to me without making my own movie.
No idealization.
No mystification.
No art.ification.
I know is gonna be a hard process. I'm too used to twist the world and words through my personal artistic point of view, escaping sometimes, other times just letting my mind floating with the clouds, reaching undiscovered universes, recreating, melting, replacing, mixing, dancing with my life.
I know it's dangerous even if it's wonderful...
The wonder of life, the wonder of art.
The wonder of love.



I know they are gonna say I'm cold, I'm different, I'm sad, depress, weird, strange, too quite to be A.M.M. This is what is already happening lately.
But is a process... and even if I don't know where it will bring me... I feel like to do it.

Too many mistakes in my past, too many representations of something that does not exist, of someone that is not the one, of another myself.

But, hey, take care people with the way in which you are gonna watch me, the words you are gonna use with me, the gestures and the touches...

As I already said, I'm ready to kill. And I will not use any violence, no...
I will just let my soul shine so brightly that everything else will become just dust.

ROT VOR WUT

I will visit your grandmother with you.
I will take a bath in your tab.
I will come to watch your rehearsals.
I will marry you.
I will cook for you.
I would like you to dance for me.
Don't go away, please.

Is almost three weeks that I don't see your face, your eyes.
It's true, human knows time and universe knows infinity...
But I'm human, indeed, even if I can feel the universe when I pray, when I meditate, when I make love.
The illusion of infinity. Illusion for us, because we will die one day.

Meanwhile I cooked for myself, I visited my grandmother alone, I didn't take a bath cause I often take a shower, and other friends were in the balletsaal during my rehearsals.
I didn't marry, lately....
I don't wanna marry lately... after the last relation I had.

Selfish?
No, I don't think so, I don't think this is the problem.... or at least not my problem.

Submissive?
Yes. Always. And yes... it's because I secretely like it.
It comes from my past, the real past, the one I don't remember so well... the one I never told to anyone.
Just few pictures, just melting memories.

This is the thing I'm fighting against, and I don't know if I will ever win defenetly, because we have things in our karma that will stay with us forever, and we must learn to love them and to handle with them.
Embrace your demons, indeed.

I still believe in all the things you told me.
I still keep my body untouched to be ready to make love with you.
I still try to use less drugs as I can, to keep my mind clear for you and for me.
And I keep on learning german in my free time, to be able to understand you.

Probably I'm just stupid, but I cannot say something like that.
Just the time will give me the answer.

And yes, it's quite sad to do this by myself, but I should learn to make things for me and then for the others.
To be just a little less submissive.

Universe knows infinity, but life is not that long and I still want to make love, to be wrong, to laugh out loud, to cry, to scream, to hug, to kiss, to dance, to run, to sweat, to cook, to eat, to sleep, to fight, to dream, to crash... with the people I love... with the one that I love.

Otherwise life seems to me just nothing special, just something I can let go so easily, so fast...
It's really not difficult to stop living, you know?
You just need a mountain, a bridge, a knife, some pills...
But this is another story, and it's not my story.
To be honest I never understood this story, even if it was so close to me.
But there are many things I do not understand.

But one is quite clear, even if it doesn't have a sense.

I love you.
A.

WHERE YOU AT?

As I stop, and take the time
To inventory, the inside of my mind
I realize, it's not as full as it used to be.
With images of justice, or desires of liberty
The world has changed, or is it me that's new?
A different set of morale's from a different set of clues
So still I wonder, is this all there is to life?
The ever changing cycles, in a world that's damp and ripe
There must more, yah my heart I hold to this
I've enjoyed love and I've seen the peace and bliss
But as you know, all things must end, except the need for faith
And the spirit that's within to keep you strong
Move forward with power, program yourself to feel
With depth enough to know what's up and heart to sense the real
Where you at?
As I stop, for the frame we set aside
Below the baseline a secret place awaits for us to hide.
To pass the time as the war goes on-and-on.
A post-apocalyptic sunset, a post-apocalyptic dawn
Of just a though of the world we want possessed
A place that wasn't honest was just a house with an address.
Of existence, wrought with fear and mistrust, a life inside a box
No life inside of us.
Find you soul, use your inner voice,
The road less traveled, is now the path of choice.
Realize, with time comes change
New attitudes, new values, priorities rearranged.
Move forward with power, program yourself to feel
With depth enough to know what's up and heart to sense the real
Where you at?

.★.★.★.★.TWO RAISED TO THE FIFTH POWER.★.★.★.★.

AND IF I WILL STOP TO DREAM

ABOUT LOVE

.

...........................I FOLLOW YOU.........ƸӜƷ..........

Oh I beg you, can I follow
Oh I ask you why not always
Be the ocean where unravel
Be my only, be the water and I'm wading
You're my river running high, run deep run wild.

ED ECCO CHE IL MIRACOLO SI COMPIE_____________ AND HERE THE MIRACLE IS ACCOMPLISHED________

.............MEIN SEELE - MEIN HERZ - MEIN KORPER...........

I do not understand.

In a little corner of my body something is screaming.

In a little corner of my soul something wants to free its wings again.

Don't touch my heart please...

...but...

What I'm going to do now?

I should start again by myself.

Again from the same point. Alone.

Until someone else will touch my heart again?

For what?

I do not understand.

Sand.

Sad.

THE POINT.

Often it may seems that nothing ever happens. We retrace the same streets every day, the same actions, the same errors, without giving us time to think, to try to understand the connections between things.How much of what we do, say, think, write, really belong to us? How much is merely a reflection of what we would like the others to see in us, to feel desired, loved, wanted, to have our place in the world?What you want from the others. What you want from yourself. What you see in the others. What the others see in you. What you want the others to see in you. What you want from yourself. What you see. What you want. What you let see. What you want to want.Then one morning you wake up and suddenly everything is different, or a night, any one night, so, without warning, everything shuts down. Darkness...Perhaps the man, the woman, are really writing a letter to someone ... but how hard is to find the tail of this story ... the tail, the end.That man, that woman, have done everything to last forever that love, continuing to joy, to extend as much as possible every moment of pleasure.Eternity, Infinity.The idea that the truth should last forever. True love, true art, the truth.True / False.The time that passes and transforms things, bending them, melting them, as the ocean with the stones.That man, lying on the bed, is thinking about when he was a boy, when everything was new, and he reposed confidence in everything. That woman is trying to understand what has changed in her since then, why she can no longer living things with such a spontaneity.The experience, awareness, knowledge, consciousness, life flowing, your life running, frantic.But where the hell am I going?Trips, people ,dances, lights, musics, phone calls, chats, messages, researches, words, images, connections, projections, reproductions, fictions, pulses, frequencies, vibrations, signals, signs, circuits, energies, fields and much more ... more ... because there seems to be never enough.Everything that we use every day to keep us busy, to not-think, to pretend, to not-know.How difficult is it to keep the faith once you discovered the deception of the truth, the illusion of forever. How to be able to be ourselves once we discovered how to be the best for the others, once you understand what others want from us.What you do, what you want, what you desire, what you believe. As long as something else comes, breaking in your life. And something else is over, forever.And that's what the man is trying to say, but he does not know how to do it, because those letters on the paper seem all wrong.To trust, the trust, be faithful. Put your faith in someone, something, illuminating it and making it eternal, even only for a moment, as long as that light does not change direction, or turns off suddenly.Am I ready to trust? Am I ready to be faithful? ... I do not know ...That man, that woman knows how difficult will be to keep the faith by themselves, to start over from zero, believing only in themselves.Perhaps this is where you decide to drop everything, the letter, the story, the man illuminated by the candle. You get up out of your bed and you go to open the window to smoke that famous cigarette. Outside you see nothing of what you're used to see, the windows of the neighbors, the street's lamps, the shop's signs, the headlights of the cars, the church tower, all gone, darkness.
Everything is off.If you have a bit of luck, you'll see the moon and the stars. Maybe you have never seen so many, or maybe you did, just  few times in the past, those rare times when you were away from everything, when everything around you was really switched off.And even on those occasions, as now, you've heard, loud, surrounding yourself, permeating the space, you have heard the universe above you, around you, so much that you have not been able to avoid to believe for a moment... to trust it.You know that nothing will ever be like before, you also know that is already since along time that the situation is like that, but how easy it was to wear the mask of yourself in the morning as if nothing had happened... recreating the same actions, expressions, words .Looking to the sky, you feel something growing inside you, something deep, a mixture of desire, will and love. Some would call it prayer, others would say it is a song or just a state of being. A dance. God or whoever it. Faith.Now you know what to do, you know what to say and who you're writing the letter ... you know how it will end the history of that man, of that woman.And here it comes, emerging from the unreal dark.The tail, the end.The end is forever. A point is forever. Everything else... is a miracle.

- MEIN KORPER - MEINE SEELE - MEIN HERZ -

Thanks to what happened lately, I must close myself even more.
To close, to survive.
No more dreams, no more love(s) or lovers, no more whishes or whims.


Nothing.

Just work, teach, learn, cook, eat sleep and pray.
Like when I was 20 years old.
But at that time I hade my reasons... I wanted to dance with all my soul. I had a goal.
Now I'm doing it just 'cause I don't want to soffer more than this.

2011 - TO CLOSE

Ok, ok, the message is clear, my life spoke to me barely. I'm gonna do it, but in such a way that anybody can imagine.
I'm going to show my best smile, I'm gonna be nice... nice... I word that I hate deeply.

Yeah... it's nice!!

I know that many people will not understand, I know that all my friends will be sorry for this, but I'm angry, I'm furious, and it's just my fault, yes, I know... once again.


And yes... I'm going to hide myself, like an animal when is sick...
I'm not sick, thanks God, but my soul is wounded, my heart is broken, since a long time... almost two years, and now is the time to heal it.


Is the first time I'm alone doing it... and yes... I know... It's a challenge (like I didn't challenge myself enough lately... (a bitter smile).
And yes, I'm ready to kill if someone wants to touch my heart again and then leave me alone.
Please people, do not touch it just for your personal pleasure. Please.


I am arrogant, I'm opinionated, I'm selfish, I'm conceited, I'm cocky.
Yes... and I'm ready to kill. To unleash my fury.

In a little corner of my room I'm crying too much, in a little corner of my body something is screaming, in a little corner of my soul something wants to free its wings again.


But this is not the moment.


And yes... yes... I'm defenetly crazy.
Aren't you?

.........................THERE'S NO USE TAKING.......

STEPS

I'm kidding myself.

I'm fooling myslef.

I'm cheating myself.

Yes, since a long time. So long that I cannot even remember when I started.

So long ago that I cannot even remember who I was before.

But life goes on... still Andrea Maria Mirabile.

And is not about what it's right or wrong, good or bad, true or false.

Is just about Nature and God.

Just...

Yes, is about Theater, the place I love most.

Yes, is about Dance that brings my mind far and around.

Yes, is about this World that makes me feel lost... since a long time.

So long ago that I cannot even remember.

But life goes on...

And I'm running not to lose sight of it.

______________________ WINGS...................

I CAN STILL SEE THE SIGNS - I CAN STILL BELIEVE IN GOD - I CAN STILL BELIEVE IN YOU.

WAITING FOR GODOT - (a non evolutionary spiral)

Smoking too much cigarettes, don't really know what to write, don't know what to think about, but I need to put out something, so here I am, in my virtual space, but still in my house, with my music.
New music for a new life, when it looks like I'm going back, so back...
I think it was such a long time I was not feeling like that. Years.
Should I deserve it? Do I like?
I don't know.
And, hey, hey, wait a moment, I still recognize my luck, yes, I do.
But feelings are uncontrollable. My visions, the signs, the cards I found, the words of the people around me, my dreams, the dance, the addictions, God, divinities, skys above me, trips, flights, trains, faces, messages and again signs, notes and so on...

And I sitll do not understand, I do not understand...
What people want from me...
My body, my lips, my heart, my soul, my wings, my feathers, my faith, my time...
And yes, I give it, I give it all... In my immeasurable egoism... or stupidity...
So teenagerish... as always.
But in the end, in the very end, I am the one left... here... in this little house, in this small town that doesn't seem to love me.
Three years of my life in which step by step I lost many things...
Things that I cannot write here, that I cannot say to anybody.

So I continue smoking too much cigarettes.
Waiting for Godot.

...but I can still recognize miracles around me...

...EGO IST - DAS IST EGO...

This hands, this hands have held, this hands have closed...

Yes, here I am, once more, wondering about love, and facts, and words, and world around me.
Once more probably egoist, once more about me, me, ME.
Can be different? Can be about someone else? Can I be someone else, please?!
So in this way probably and finally (maybe) I'm gonna be less egocentric, I will not just follow my desires, my wishes, my whims, my dreams.

As a beautiful song says: you just feel what you want it to be, what you want it to feel, what you want it to be.

But sorry people, this life is about me, and without me there is nothing, there is not my point of view, my feelings, my thoughts. I know I'm not that important for the world, but the world is really important for me.

You think a little love is all you need, but love is such a small thing can't you see?
(...and yes, sure... I do not think it for real...)

And yes, yes, I can put myself apart, that in Italian sounds like when you save some food for the future, like when you put it in the fridge for tomorrow, or in the freezer for the next month.

Do I want to do this?
No.
Is this being egoist? If yes, well, then I am. Sorry.
Sorry again.

WISE ENOUGH

I had a dream that all of time was running dry
and life was like a comet falling from the sky

I woke so frightened in the dawning, oh, so clear
How precious is the time we have here

Are we not wise enough to give all we are?
Surely we're bright enough to outshine the stars
The human kind gets so lost in finding its way
but we have a chance to make a difference til our dying day

And you might pray to God, or say it's Destiny
But I think we are just hiding all that we can be


All I'm really asking is: what are we doing here?
Are we just killing time? Just living year to year?

In this big world, no one else can play our part
Ain't it time to just wake up and give it all

♤ ♤ ALL MY LOVES ♤ ♤

My first love was not gay. Was the first time I made love. Was sweet. I was twelve. He had a girlfriend.
When he understood he stopped all the contacts with me. I was sad but I could not tell anyone.

My second love was a woman. Was the first time I made love with a woman. I made it during four years. I dont' know if she made love with me. Was sweet and funny. She told me "I love you". She had a boyfriend. It finished when I was almost eighteen. I was more than sad but then I started to dance.

My third love was hiv positive. He didn't tell me, but he told me "I love you". I made love with him. He didn't make love with me. He was sweet. Than his bestfriend told me the truth. I was sad and afraid. but I could not tell anyone. I was eighteen. Then I was lucky and negative.

My fourth love was a dancer. I made love with him. I don't know if he mande love with me. Was sensual and soft. I made love with him during four monthes everyday after the dance school. I was nineteen. He told me "I love you". Then in a party in his house, in the middle of all our friend he didnt even kiss me. Cold and far. I spit in his feet. I was sad and disgusted but then I changed city.

My fifth love was a normal guy, we made love almost for six monthes. He was quiet, silent, sweet and tender. One day after a movie (Mullholland Drive) he took his bike and he disappeared without saying a word. I was twenty. I didn't understand, so I was sad and lost, with a lot of doubts in my head. But then I changed city again. I met him after three years and now he is one of my best friend.

My sixth love was in the most romantic city ever. I was twentyone. He was strange, weird, like a freak angel. We made love for almost one year and a half. He told me "I love you". Then I opened myself for the first time in my life, showing also my dark side. He disappeard from the city. I was sad and broken. I met him two monthes later in a square, with another guy. I spit on his face and then I changed city. Then for the first time I cracked an e.mail account, his e.mail account and I descovered that he was sending to another guy all the love letters that he was sending to me. I closed myself for almost two years. No sex, no love, no nothing.

My seventh love was the best love story I've ever had. I made love with him. He made love with me. We said "I love you" to eachother. Then I cracked again... but just because he did it first... and probably would have been much better to don't do that.

Better to don't speak about this. 

My eight love told me "I love you" crying. I made love with him, I don't know if he made with me. But I found him on gayromeo, but I didn't say nothing. Then he fucked with a friend of mine. He changed city.

I didn't make love with my last one. I asked him to don't touch my heart. He touched anyway. He told me he wanted to marry me. He told me many other things. He was also in gayromeo. I don't know how I felt anymore.

I do not judge all my loves. 

Thinking about my past I can just say that I loved a lot and I'm quite lucky.

Thinking about this I feel blessed.

Thinking about this I feel my love for God.

Amen.

P.s. This is just about the people I loved and not about the people who told me "I love you" but I didn't love... otherwhise this could be a neverending story. hehehe (I'm not so serious in the end...)

EASY.EASY.ASS.YEAS.YEAH.YES.EASY.EASY.AH.YEAH!

I'm easy. Don't worry. Easy.
Easy going. Just take it easy.
Unkomplizierten.
Rilassati. Tranquillo. No worries.
Uncomplicated. Straightforward.
Easy.

Everything is really easy.
E' tutto così semplice, senza conseguenze.
Si va, si fa, si torna.
Satisfied?

There are really no consequences to this lack of feelings?
Davvero non ci sono conseguenze a questa mancanza di sentimenti?
What about real feelings?
What game are we playing?



A che gioco stiamo giocando?

Scusate... forse ho perso il filo del discorso..........
Probably I'm a bit lost regarding this...

LA FINE.

Questa lettera, questa storia, è per te.

PUNTO

Spesso può sembrare che non succeda mai nulla. Ripercorriamo ogni giorno le stesse strade, le stesse azioni, i medesimi errori, senza darci il tempo di pensare, di cercare di capire le connessioni tra le cose.

Quanto di tutto quello che facciamo, diciamo, pensiamo, scriviamo, vogliamo ci appartiene veramente? Quanto invece è soltanto un riflesso di quello che vorremmo che gli altri vedessero in noi, per sentirci desiderati, amati, ricercati, per avere il nostro posto nel mondo?

Cosa vuoi dagli altri. Cosa vuoi da te stesso. Cosa vedi degli altri. Cosa vedono gli altri di te. Cosa vuoi che gli altri vedano di te. Cosa vuoi da te stesso. Cosa vedi. Cosa vuoi. Cosa fai vedere. Cosa vuoi volere.

Poi una mattina ti svegli ed improvvisamente tutto è diverso, oppure una notte, una notte qualunque, così, senza preavviso, tutto si spegne.

Forse quell’uomo, quella donna, stanno davvero scrivendo una lettera a qualcuno… ma quanto è difficile trovare la coda di questa storia… la coda, la fine.

Quell’uomo, quella donna, hanno fatto di tutto perché l’amore durasse per sempre, per far perdurare la gioia,  per prolungare quanto più possibile ogni momento di piacere.

L’eternità, l’infinito.

L’idea che il vero debba durare per sempre. Il vero amore, la vera arte, la verità.

Vero / Falso.

Il tempo che passa e che trasforma le cose, piegandole, malleandole come fa l’oceano che le pietre.

Quell’uomo, sdraiato sul letto, sta pensando a quando era un ragazzo, a quando tutto era una novità e riponeva fiducia in ogni cosa. Quella donna sta cercando di capire cosa sia cambiato dentro di lei da allora, perché non riesce più a vivere le cose con tanta spontaneità.

L’esperienza, la consapevolezza, la conoscenza, la coscienza, la vita che scorre, la tua vita che corre, frenetica.

Ma dove diavolo sto andando?

Viaggi persone danze luci musiche telefoni chat connessioni ricerche messaggi onde parole immagini informazioni  proiezioni riproduzioni finzioni segni segnali vibrazioni pulsazioni frequenze circuiti campi energie e ancora… ancora di più… perché sembra non essere mai abbastanza.

Tutto quello che ogni giorno usiamo per tenerci occupati, per non pensare, per far finta di non sapere.

Quanto è difficile mantenere la fede una volta scoperto l’inganno della verità, l’illusione del per sempre. Come riuscire ad essere se stessi una volta scoperto come essere il meglio per gli altri, una volta capito cosa gli altri vogliono da noi.

Quello che fai, quello che vuoi, quello che desideri, quello in cui credi. Fintanto che qualcosa di diverso arriva, irrompendo nella tua vita. E qualcos’altro finisce, per sempre.

Ed è questo che l’uomo sta cercando di dire, ma non sa come farlo, perché quelle lettere sul foglio sembrano tutte sbagliate.

Fidarsi, avere fiducia, essere fedeli. Riporre la propria fede in qualcuno, in qualcosa, illuminandola e rendendola eterna, fosse anche solo per un attimo, fintanto che quella luce non cambia direzioni, o non si spegne, improvvisamente.

Sono pronto a fidarmi? Sono pronto ad essere fedele?...non lo so…

Quell’uomo, quella donna, sanno quanto sarà difficile mantenere la fede da soli, ricominciare da zero, credendo solo in se stessi.

Forse è a questo punto che decidi di lasciar perdere tutto, la lettera, la storia, l’uomo illuminato dalla candela. Ti alzi dal letto e vai ad aprire la finestra per  fumarti finalmente quella famosa sigaretta. Fuori non si vede nulla di quello a cui sei abituato, le finestre illuminate dei vicini, i lampioni, le insegne dei negozi, i fari delle macchine, il campanile della chiesa, tutto sparito, buio.

Se hai un po’ di fortuna fuori vedrai la luna e le stelle. Forse non ne avevi mai viste così tante, o magari ti era capitato qualche volta in passato, quelle rare volte in cui eri lontano da tutto, in cui davvero tutto intorno a te era spento.

E anche in quelle occasioni, così come adesso, l’hai sentito, forte, circondarti, pervaderti… l’universo sopra di te, intorno a te, che non hai potuto fare a meno di crederci, per un attimo, fidarti.

Sai che nulla potrà mai più essere come prima, sai anche che è già da molto tempo che le cose stanno così, ma quanto era facile indossare la maschera di te stesso al mattino, come se nulla fosse, ricreando le medesime azioni, espressioni, parole.

Con lo sguardo rivolto verso il cielo, senti qualcosa crescere dentro di te, qualcosa di intenso, un misto di desiderio, volontà e amore. Qualcuno la chiamerebbe preghiera, altri direbbero che è un canto o semplicemente uno stato dell’essere. Dio o chi per esso. La fede.

Ora sai cosa devi fare, sai cosa devi dire e a chi stai scrivendo la lettera… sai anche come andrà a finire la storia di quell’uomo, di quella donna.

Ed eccola che arriva, emergendo da quel buio irreale.

La coda, la fine.

La fine è per sempre. Un punto è per sempre. Tutto il resto è un miracolo.

IMPROVVISAMENTE TUTTO SI SPEGNE (seconda parte)

IMPROVVISAMENTE TUTTO SI SPEGNE.

Può bastare un semplice black out a cambiare ogni cosa.

I WONDER . THE WONDER

I'm quite disinterested, selfless, almost detached in this period. Probably a reaction to all the things happened lately. Sometimes I'm afraid to be lazy. Sometimes I am lazy for real. I know I could do much more but... as I said... I'm quite disinterested... maybe disillusioned. It happend already few times in my past, yes, but never so deeply, so vast that it includes almost everything... also my dreams.
I DON'T HAVE A DREAM TO FIGHT FOR, right now. This is it.
Dance, faith, love, friends, coincidences, eyes, looks, words, steps, sweat, situations, projects, books, shows, stages, trips, sleeps... nothing seems to touch me. Is it depression? I don't think so.
I still love life, even in this kind of moments, cause is here that I see the Miracle, the Wonder of life...
EVERYTHING IS HAPPENING. Even when it looks like we are stuck in a state of mind. And it doesn't mean that a miracle is something that we consider right or good. We don't know what it will bring to us in the future. The consequences. We don't know the future and this is the MIRACLE, precisely.
The present, what the present will bring to us, how everything is visible and invisible, constantly changing, bringing the seed of what will be and what was... 
...also when it's tragic...
...sometimes exactly because it's tragic... 
...and than we can se the WONDER.

We are the miracle,only for the simple fact that we exist.

Ogni tanto ho solo bisogno di un segno.
Ogni tanto il segno arriva.
Ogni tanto faccio finta di nulla e tiro dritto vero l'ignoto.

Quando tutto coincide senza nemmeno il bisogno di parlare, questo è il miracolo . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . : . . . . . . . . . . . . : When everything coincides, without even the need to talk, this is the miracle . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . : . . . . . . . . . . . . : . . .

LOTUS FLOWER

Cosa vuoi dagli altri. Cosa vuoi da te stesso. Cosa vedi degli altri. Cosa vedono gli altri di te. Cosa vuoi che gli altri vedano di te. Cosa vuoi da te stesso. Cosa vedi. Cosa vuoi. Cosa fai vedere. Cosa vuoi volere.
A.

What do you want from the others. What do you want from yourself. What do you see in the others. What the others see in you. What do you want the others to see in you. What do you want from yourself. What do you see. What do you want. What do you show. What do you need to want.
A.

________________THE BLACK MADONNA

 Awareness and losing consciousness.

I must admit that I find difficult to write on this new blog. 

A part of me would like to think new things, writing different things from the past.

Another part of me is already new, different ... but not the one who writes and thinks. 

Another one, somewhere inside me, probably deeper inside.

Despite the undeterred confusion that reigns over my existence since many months already, despite this apparent calm that sometimes smells of convenient depression, smells of defect/habit or indolence, despite the lack of creativity and the little time I dedicate to God .. well ... I can do nothng about it ... 

...I can just believe in miracles... and see them ... all around. 

Definitely not ready for the arrival of spring. 

Amazed. 

A.M.M.

Ascolta

Trascrizione fonetica

★★★★★

Devo ammettere che faccio fatica a scrivere su questo nuovo blog.

Una parte di me desidererebbe pensare cose nuove, scrivere cose diverse.

Un'altra parte di me è già nuova, diversa... ma non è quella che scrive e che pensa.

Un'altra, da qualche parte dentro di me, forse più in fondo.

Nonostante la confusione che imperterrita fa da sovrana alla mia esistenza ormai da molti mesi, nonostante questa calma apparente che a tratti profuma di comoda depressione, vizio e indolenza, nonostante la poca creatività ed il poco tempo dedicato a Dio... ecco... non posso farne a meno...

Non posso fare altro che credere nei miracoli e di vederli... tutto intorno.

Assolutamente non pronto all'arrivo della primavera.

Meravigliato.

A.M.M.

_______________ FROM WHERE I WAS ___________

Forward

..............................................e di altre piccole cose...

.BISOGNA SOLO SAPERLI VEDERE.

STAR.S.

He takes the risk.

Quando Milano sa regalarmi.
Non prima di avermi tolto molto.
Ancora una volta troppo.